I am finally writing this to clear up some confusion and to hopefully shut some people up because I am seriously tired of hearing about it. This show does repeat and I guess people need to realize that.
After the King of Queens was over, I was approached to possibly do a talk show. I thought doing a show that shows the trials and tribulations of being a first time parent was interesting. But, I was not sure. The same people who approached me to do the show also produced Rachel Ray. They wanted me to do a few appearances on Rachel Ray to kind of try it out. Very often when a new show is being launched they use a successful show to launch the new person. For example, Dr. Phil was on Oprah for many episodes to get the audience used to him before they launched him on his own show. The same with Rachel, she was on Oprah, Dr. Oz, etc…. The producers asked me if there was anything monumental going on in Sofia’s life that they could film for a piece on Rachel Ray. I told them that our pediatrician told us it was time for Sofia to get off the bottle. I had been on many “mommy” web sites where other moms admitted having this problem, moms who were just like me. I felt this was a good subject being I was JUST told it was time for Sofia to get off the bottle.
They felt this topic would be a great idea to film BUT they wanted to bring in their pediatrician and a “real mom” who had been through this to come in and help us with this “problem”. At this point it was not a problem. THEY created a problem by taking the bottle away from her because they needed to film it in the next few days. So there was no “lead up” to really wean her off the bottle. We basically forced her off the bottle for filming this piece. We had NEVER even tried to get her off the bottle before this.
We filmed for one day with the expert and one night trying to get her off the bottle. With the camera crew in my house, cameras in my bedroom, my daughter being forced to get off the bottle, this was all too much for us so quickly. I also had just finished the show; it was all just very emotional for me. They are looking to do a show; they wanted to show a certain amount of drama so that people would watch. What you saw was made to be dramatic. I am not saying it was not, but it was not as organic as I would have wanted it to be.
We were also a bit tortured as to if we were doing the right thing by allowing people to film this. I assumed that I might help someone. I never realized we would be attacked for it or I never would have done it.
So here is what happened. After we filmed for two days, Sofia was NOT off the bottle. Truly the advice of the expert did not work for her. But the advice from the Pediatrician that it was time to do it was something we agreed to. We had to go to NY to be in studio for Rachel Ray. Because I was so sad to leave Sofia, my mom said that she would take Sofia to Disneyland and try to leave the bottles at home. We agreed. The first night we were gone, my mom told us that they had left for Disneyland and she told Sofia that the Princess Hotel did not allow big girls with bottles there and was it ok leaving them home? Sofia’s response was simply “yes”. The first night she cried a little asking for her “babbas” but grandma told her that she had given her bottles to babies that really needed them. By night 2, she was over it. It was over before we even got home. I even mentioned this at the end of the Rachel Ray show but I do not think people focused on it because they did not believe it. I also did not want to really punch the point home that the expert didn’t really work for us being that she was sitting right there. I find it NUTS that no one blogged about what a champ Sofia was getting off the bottle so fast! I really wanted to talk about how it was me and Angelo who made such a big deal about it and not Sofia! But that was not the focus of the show.
For people to say what bad parents we were and what idiots we are, really baffled me. I guess I was naive in thinking that people would see how much we loved our daughter, not focus on negativity.
When we got home, Sofia asked me and her daddy for her bottle, and we told her that she had given them to babies who really needed them, she asked for them back and we just talked her through it and told her how proud we were of her. Sure, we had to read 5 more books than we were used to, but it was ok.
When I said in the piece that if you do not like the advice of your doctor, get another doctor. I really did not mean it as it related to getting sound advice. I really said it out of context. And maybe to be funny. Had I known that people would take me literally, I would NOT have said it. I was attempting to empower those parents who felt looked down upon by the “experts” because they were not meeting a certain time line when it came to their kids. Not all kids get off the bottle at a certain age, not all kids get potty trained EXACTLY when they should and when I said that I just wanted people to not feel judged as I had felt.
That day the show aired, the Rachel Ray web site was overloaded with many stories from parents who were in a similar situation. I felt that I had done something good. But there are a few who have said some very hurtful things. And it is for them that I waste my time writing this.
We are not perfect parents, we made mistakes and we will continue to make mistakes. We are doing the best we can. We don’t allow her to do anything she wants as some have said. You are not in our home, so do not make comments about people you do not know.
She is off the bottle and she is potty trained and she has had all of her shots. When she is sick, we give her medicine to help her get better. We reprimand her when she is out of control, we tell her no when she is going to do something dangerous, we don’t say ‘yes’ to EVERYTHING that she asks for. There, I hope you all feel that I have done the perfect parent checklist.
Sofia is a very creative, loving and headstrong child. Can she be a brat? YUP! What 5 year old isn’t? But, she is our life. She is a blessing that we are very appreciative of.
I hope that some of you count your blessings and maybe return to the decent people I know you can be. Maybe spend less time judging people and more time on being compassionate about other peoples “shortcomings”.
Just because we can say anything about anyone on the internet doesn’t mean we should.
Leah
Leah | 
07 3rd, 2009| 
